I love NPR. I love its Life Kit.

当父母的，常常会谆谆告诫自己的孩子：应该这么做。

我，也许表面上不反驳父母；但是，常常心里不以为然。

在自己成为母亲的时候，我开始犹豫了：该告诫孩子这些事吗？如何不引起他的反感？

https://www.npr.org/2023/02/19/1157287474/best-life-advice-tips

10 pieces of well-worn life advice you may need to hear right now

你现在可能需要的 10 条“经典”人生建议

1. 'There's more than one way to do something'

I remember scrubbing a pan when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. There was something stuck on the pan that wouldn't come off, and I just kept scrubbing it. My dad stopped me, grabbed a fork and just scraped it off. And he looked at me and said, "Jody, there's more than one way to do something." From that moment on, I've been looking at every problem in my life like how can I do this a different way? —  Jody Adewale, clinical psychologist

1. “做一件事的方法不止一种”（条条大路通罗马）

我记得我大概 8 或 9 岁时擦洗平底锅。 锅上有东西粘着，洗不掉，我只是不停地擦洗它。 我爸爸阻止了我，抓起一把叉子把它刮掉了。 他看着我说：“乔迪，做一件事的方法不止一种。” 从那一刻起，我一直在审视我生活中的每一个问题，比如我怎样才能以不同的方式做好这件事？ ——Jody Adewale，临床心理学家

2. 'The hate will come at the same rate as the love'

The best advice I ever received was that the hate will come at the same rate as the love. There will always be people who are so dissatisfied with themselves that they have to project that onto other people. And instead of trying to focus on the negativity, I tend to try to put more energy into the people and the things that are showing me love, support and good energy. — Kiaundra Jackson, marriage and family therapist

2. “仇恨会和爱来得一样快”

我收到的最好的建议是，仇恨会和爱来得一样快。 总会有人对自己如此不满意，以至于他们不得不将其投射到其他人身上。 而不是试图把注意力集中在消极情绪上，我倾向于把更多的精力投入到那些向我展示爱、支持和正能量的人和事上。 ——Kiaundra Jackson，婚姻和家庭治疗师 

3. 'Do smaller loads of laundry'

I used to work at a small grocery store, and before moving away to college, I asked the store manager, "What's the No. 1 thing that I need to know about going away to college?" And he said, "Do smaller loads of laundry. Your clothes will come out cleaner." — Shaun Galanos, a relationship coach and host of The Love Drive podcast

3. “少放些衣服在洗衣机里”

我曾经在一家小杂货店工作，在去上大学之前，我问商店经理，“我快去上大学，我需要知道的第一件事是什么？” 他说，“少放些衣服在洗衣机里。你的衣服会洗得更干净。” — Shaun Galanos，关系教练和 The Love Drive 播客的主持人

4. 'Being vulnerable means taking off our armor'

I was talking with my therapist about how I didn't mind being vulnerable as long as I knew the other person would be warm, that they wouldn't judge and all of that. And she said, "that's not vulnerable. Being vulnerable means taking off our armor and going in not knowing how we'll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway." — Tania Israel, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara 

4. “脆弱意味着脱下我们的盔甲”

我正在和我的治疗师谈论我不介意变得脆弱，只要我知道对方会很热情、他们不会评判我、等等。 她说，“这并不脆弱。脆弱意味着脱掉我们的盔甲，不知道我们会如何受到欢迎，但无论如何都要把自己放在那里。” ——Tania Israel，加州大学圣巴巴拉分校心理学教授 

5. 'Go where the energy goes'

The best piece of advice I ever received was "Go where the energy goes." What has good vibes? What makes you feel good about yourself? Where is that good energy? Head in that direction. — Betty Who, pop star and the host of the reality dating series, "The One That Got Away"

5. “去充满能量的地方”

我收到的最好的建议是，“去充满能量的地方”。 哪里有好的共鸣？ 是什么让你自我感觉良好？ 哪里来的好能量？ 朝那个方向走。 — Betty Who，流行歌星和现实约会系列节目“The One That Got Away”的主持人

6. 'It's not all about you'

The best piece of advice I was given was, "Shanita, it's not all about you." When I'm in a situation where a tough decision has to be made and it feels personal, I remind myself it's not all about me, and that I'm one piece of a bigger universe that's at play right now. — Shanita Williams, career coach and the author of Feedback Mentality 

6. “这不全是关于你”

我得到的最好的建议是，“Shanita，这不全是关于你。” 当我处于必须做出艰难决定，并且感觉很涉及自己的情况时，我提醒自己这不仅仅与我有关，而且我是现在正在发挥作用的更大宇宙的一部分。 — Shanita Williams，职业教练和《反馈心态》的作者

7. Expect yourself to change

We all change every five years or so. More or less, we have to expect ourselves to change, and we have to expect people in our lives to change. That little piece of advice has given me a lot of space for room and for growth. — Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and host of the Mind Money Balance podcast 

7. 期待自己改变

我们每五年左右就会发生变化。 或多或少，我们必须期待自己改变，我们也必须期待生活中的人改变。 这条小建议给了我很大的空间和成长空间。 — Lindsay Bryan-Podvin，金融治疗师和 Mind Money Balance 播客的主持人

8. 'When people show you who they are, believe them'

When people show you who they are, believe them. Far too often, I have seen us try to recreate who we want people to be, only to later find out they are exactly what they've been demonstrating. — Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace 

8. “当人们向你展示他们是谁时，请相信他们”

当人们向你展示他们是谁时，请相信他们。 很多时候，我看到我们试图重现我们希望人们成为的样子，但后来才发现他们正是他们一直在展示的样子。 — Nedra Glover Tawwab，获得许可的治疗师和《设定界限》、《寻找和平》一书的作者

9. Pace out your self-improvement

Don't be so overly involved with your self-improvement. Accept the gifts and abilities that you have, and don't spend so much time trying to develop new ones that you sacrifice your gifts. Be yourself. — David Defoe, a psychotherapist who specializes in depression, anxiety and grief

9. 放慢自我提升的步伐

不要过分关注你的自我提升。 接受你已有的天赋和能力，不要花太多时间去发展新的，以至于牺牲了你的天赋。 做你自己。 ——大卫·笛福，一位专门研究抑郁、焦虑和悲伤的心理治疗师

10. It's OK to say 'I don't know'

Something I've benefited a lot from is telling yourself, "I don't know. And that's exactly where I should be when I take that first step." I'm as ready as I ever will be. I'm going to do it, and I'll know more after. — Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

10. 你可以说“我不知道”

我从中受益匪浅的一件事就是告诉自己：“我不知道。而这正是我迈出第一步时应该做的事情。” 我一如既往地准备好了。 我打算去做，之后我会知道更多。 — 贝基·肯尼迪 (Becky Kennedy)，临床心理学家，《内心深处：成为您想成为的父母的指南》一书的作者