Funny Pick Up Lines Pick Up Lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway. Pick Up Lines Rating Votes I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together. 54 You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 2300 I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it. 347 I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman! 70 Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u. 56 Hey, are you my appendix? Because I don't understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out? 14 Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 759 Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 275 If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 401 Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back. 67 Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 161 It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 239 Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 222 You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line. 245 Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 528 If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 420 People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 182 Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 207 Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 194 If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. 18 You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list. 57 Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 95 If beauty were time, you’d be eternity. 65 See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 222 Is that a shovel in your back pocket? Cuz I'm diggin dat ass! 7 You are so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business. 81 Say I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you. and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 212 My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in! 446 It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle. 36 You know what material this is? Boyfriend material. 25 Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 98 A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her I will stop loving you when all the roses die 769 I have a boyfriend. I have a pet goldfish. What? I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter. 191 Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 135 If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 283 Would you sleep with a stranger? Then Hi, my name is... 88 There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me. 146 Do you like bacon? Wanna strip? 13 You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. 22 You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me. 20 Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? 20 I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with. 63 If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 54 Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world? 14 If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 187 Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 52 I'd marry your cat just to get in the family. 13 Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 139 I want to tell you your fortune. Your future is clear. 91 If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 114 I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass! 50 I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you. 33 Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you? 74 You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 175 Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 64 My name is but you can call me tonight! 15 You're so hot you must've started global warming. 16 If you were a booger I would pick you first. 135 I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet. 7 I just got this naughty list from Santa and I'm pretty sure you're on it. 7 I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 87 You smell like trash, may I take you out? 47 I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that. 11 If you were a library book, I would check you out. 11 I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 58 Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 74 How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice! 32 Do you have the time? No, the time to write down my number? 5 You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? 10 I can't take my eyes off of you. Unless, of course, you notice me. Then I'll quickly look away And act like nothing happened. 5 What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 52 Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 57 Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 133 Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 101 You know what would look good on you? Me! 37 If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 114 Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you? 45 Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 85 If I followed you home, would you keep me? 76 What’s your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon! 9 Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 95 I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 72 I must be lost… because I see paradise. 28 Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up! 79 Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 109 Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? Its okay, the other two pigs said no too! 66 If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib! 4 I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 64 Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 79 Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 53 Excuse me, would you like to dance? NO! Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 236 Are you a Hurricane ? Cause you're blowing me away. 44 Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope. 15 I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 51 Bond....James Bond 197 Looks like you dropped something , My jaw! 20 I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 68 Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken! 8 You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you. 64 My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart. 17 Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle! 11 Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 81 You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache. 9 If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 31 Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away. 65 Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 36 If you were a steak you would be well done. 8 We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 75 (steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 42 Is stalking still cute? 10 If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery. I would choose the lottery. But it would be sooooo close, real close. 15 Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a pretty sweet ass. 3 I bet even your farts smell good. 3 My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself. 5 You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you. 9 Did it hurt when you fell? When you fell from heaven? 71 You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 139 Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home. 16 I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 36 Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 128 Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 28 (She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 63 Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 80 What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 7 You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 68 (To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 55 Damn girl, if you were a fruit, you’d be a FINEapple! 4 You have a good web-surfing stance. 5 The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue. 11 Excuse me, did you just fart? 239 Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly. 188 Do you mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted? 47 Is it bright out here, or is that just your halo? 8 You MUST have a nice personality.
翻译(英译中):邱敦莲 Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. 曾经有四个人。 他们的名字分别叫 人人 、 某人 、 无人 、 任何人 。每当有重要的工作要做的时候， 人人 都以为 某人 会做。 Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job. 任何人 都能够做，但是却无人做。当 无人 做时， 人人 都感到恼火，因为这是 人人 的工作。 Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place. 人人 都认为 某人 会做，但 无人 意识到 无人 做，结果，当 无人 做 任何人 都能做而未做的事的时候， 人人 都责怪 某人 。 _________________________________________________ P.S. This article is like a twister. It's good material for students to learn the use of these several words!
男足对提升国人幽默等级的贡献 Contributions of Chinese Men's Football Teams to the Upgradation of Chinese People's Humor Level Almost every sport in China has made its progess during the past 20 years, except one--notorious men's football. The football is ill, very seriously. Then the officials try many prescription, e.g., training the young players in Brazil or employing the famous foreign coaches. However, not working. From expectations, then disappointments and finally desperations. Just like the cook is so bad that we can not take the terrible food. However, the food is not without a single virtue. It inspires our sense of humor. Therefore, you can find many funny songs, jokes, stories, drawings and even couplets on football in the internet. Even more, one restaurant invented a dish Chinese Football, and the ingredients include pettitoes and odourous bean curd (which means smelly foot). However, after laughing I might feel a little bitter. 过去的二十年见证了中国几乎所有运动项目的进步，除了声名狼藉的男子足球。男足病了，很严重。官员们试了很多药方，比如送年轻球员去巴西学习，聘用著名的外国教头等。但还是无效。 从期望，到失望，再到绝望。就像蹩脚的厨师作出了难以入口的饭菜。有人说，你不会自己去煮啊，也许你煮得更差。但是即使不会下蛋，每个人还是有评价鸡蛋质量的权利。这种糟糕的食物并非一无是处。它激发了国人的幽默感。于是，网络上便充斥着各种搞笑的歌曲，笑话，故事，绘画甚至对联。更有甚者，有家饭店推出了道菜叫中国足球，其实就是猪脚加臭豆腐，寓意自然是中国人都知道了。然而，笑完之后我还是觉得有点苦涩的味道。 最后，输球还不要紧，最可恶的当然是输人了。足球还真是有点象父母宠坏的孩子，弄到现在都不知道如何教育为好了。
标签: humor
