我在上小学的时候，因为无书可读（父母职业的关系，家里的书架上大都是文言文），翻阅了一本心理学的小册子，当时觉得很有趣，连上厕所的时候都手不释卷。 工作后，除了一次创业的经历，大都是在高校，因为职业关系，每年接触很多不同社会背景的同学，观察的多了，对判断人的品性也有了一些经验。 据我观察，具备某些特征的老师，实施性骚扰的可能性要比其他老师高得多，这是有实际案例的。 在我的某一次工作经历中，和我同时入职的某老师（以下简称ZH），初见面我就发觉了他的不自信（ 知识点1：自卑的人容易变态 ），同期入职的其他老师都被他当成了潜在的竞争对手，对其他人有很强的防备心。 新入职的老师都要参加学校的教学比赛，一个老师得了全校第二，结果别人跟Z H 挑拨说奖项本来是他的，但评委临时改了分数，这种空穴来风的话ZH也信了，情商不能说不低（ 知识点2：情商低的人容易失去理性 ）。 之后，Z H 开始在办公室四处散播这一说法，对得了第二的老师进行人身攻击，这是职场冷暴力的典型表现（ 知识点3：性骚扰的本质并非性冲动，而是控制欲，惯于冷暴力处理问题的人，控制欲都很强烈 ）。对于职场冷暴力，选择合适的时机正面刚回去是最好的选择，另一个老师如此如此处理之后，让Z H 颜面扫地一无所获。 经过这次挫败，Z H 非常沮丧，不久就做出了让旁人瞠目的事情。某日夜里，Z H 借酒劲潜入一女老师宿舍并偷卧于床底，半夜爬出来欲行不轨，好在左邻右舍有其他老师居住，才未让其得逞。 当时Z H 的小孩已近周岁，学校最终大事化小，让Z H 辞职了事。听说Z H 现在另一间高校继续从事教书育人的工作，希望他能有所反省，不要再做害人害己的事情。 实际上，高校老师并不如学生想象中那般光鲜，才识和收入往往并不对等，掌握了极专业的知识却未获得理想中的收入，这就促生了一些高校老师的自卑心理（ 知识点1 ）。 由于长期从事研究工作，与社会打交道较少，一些高校老师情商并不十分高（ 知识点2 ），比如张peng，与类人猿的交流时间也许超过了与普通人打交道的时间。 高校老师和学生之间，由于知识量的悬殊（Knowledge is power)，存在很高的权力不对等（ 知识点3 ），这种权力差为控制欲的滋生提供了很好的温床。 简单来说，女生如果感觉到一个老师自大（即自卑）、情商低（不要理解为才子的傲娇）、控制欲强（比如不care学生的想法）的特点，那就一定要留意，尽量避免单独接触；实在避免不了，做好证据留存，勇于以法律维护自身权益。 说句题外话，我一向反对师生恋，尤其是男老师和女本科生之间的恋情，见过太多失败的案例，受伤害的都是女生。抛开经济不论，尚未完全踏足社会的女生，出于对老师才识的钦慕而芳心暗许，却不知才识与品性并无多大关系。
刚 从冰 岛 跑 野外 归 来 ， 本想写《世外桃源 冰 岛 》 ， 但看来介 绍 美国密西根大学 关 于 师 生恋 （ 不论是单身还是婚外情 ） 的 规 章更 有需要。 我这介绍不针对任何具体事例，因为每个人只需要遵守自己单位的规章，而不是密西根大学的规章。 其它大学的规定可能不同。欢迎补充。 密西根大学的具体 规 定比 较长 ， 我就不翻 译 了。只 总结 如下。原文附在后面 ， 供有 兴 趣者研究和借鉴。 这个话题容易情绪化。为 了避免 争议 ， 我不做 评论 ， 不引申到国内情况，不介 绍 案例，也不加自己的观点讨论规章太宽还是太严。 密西根大学 关 于 师 生恋的 规 定主要基于 对 教授和学生( 包括其他学生 )都公平、不滥用权力、和尊重隐私的原 则 ， 可 简单 概括 为 ： （ 1 ） 强烈不鼓励 (strongly discouraged) 。 （ 2 ） 也不禁止。 （ 3 ） 发 生后需要 向 上 级 ( 对 教授来 说 ， 上 级 是系主任 ； 对 于系主任 ， 上 级 是学院院 长 ) 报告 (Disclosure) 。 （ 4 ） 回避制度，禁止滥用权力 。 不能 继续 一方直接管理另一方。需要 单 独制定学生的指 导计 划 ， 而且得到上 级认 可。 师生情不受惩罚，但不报告或滥用权力会得到惩罚。惩罚视情节有多种，直至开除。 （ 5 ） 如果其他学生 认为 因 为 当事人的私情得到了不公平 对 待 ， 可向教授的上 级 申 诉 。 （ 6 ） 尊重 隐 私 ，上级需要 替当事人保密 (confidentiality) ，如果当事人不愿公开的话 。 THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STANDARD PRACTICE GUIDE SUBJECT: Faculty-StudentRelationships I. Policy The teacher-student relationshiplies at the foundation of the educational process. As a matter of soundjudgment and professional ethics, faculty members have a responsibility toavoid any apparent or actual conflict between their professionalresponsibilities and personal relationships with students. Romantic and/or sexualrelationships between a faculty member and a student have the potential to poserisks to the faculty member, the student, or third parties. In suchrelationships, voluntary consent by the student is suspect because of theinherently unequal nature of the relationship. A romantic and/or sexualrelationship between a faculty member and a student can lead to a complaint ofsexual harassment when the student feels that he or she has been exploited. Inaddition, other faculty members, staff members, or students may expressconcerns about undue access or advantage, favoritism, restricted opportunities,or unfavorable treatment as a result of the relationship. These concerns aredamaging whether the favoritism is real or perceived. They also arise in caseswhere the relationship between the faculty member and the student remainsamicable, as well as in cases that lead to accusations of exploitation. For allthese reasons, the University strongly discourages romantic and/or sexualrelationships between faculty members and students. In spite of these warnings, theUniversity recognizes that sometimes such relationships occur. If a romanticand/or sexual relationship occurs or has occurred between a faculty member anda student for whom the faculty member has supervisory responsibility, aninherent conflict of interest arises. When a conflict of this nature occurs,the faculty member must disclose the relationship so that a resolution to theconflict can be sought. This policy applies to anyUniversity or University-sanctioned teacher, mentor, or supervisor of students.This includes, but is not limited to, regular instructional faculty, clinicalfaculty, supplemental and research faculty, postdoctoral fellows, graduatestudent instructors, graduate student research assistants, preceptors, andgraders. Throughout this policy, the term “faculty member” is used to refer toall regular instructional faculty and to all other individuals with supervisoryresponsibility for students in an educational setting. II. Definition Supervisory Responsibility includes, but is not limited to, teaching,research, academic advising, coaching, service on evaluation or thesiscommittees, grading, recommending in an institutional capacity for employment,fellowships, or awards. This supervision can occur on or off campus, incurricular, co-curricular, or extra-curricular activities. III. Regulations A. Prohibition of Supervision : A faculty member is prohibited fromhaving supervisory responsibility over a student with whom he or she iscurrently having a romantic and/or sexual relationship. A faculty member may beprohibited from having supervisory responsibility over a student with whom heor she has had a romantic and/or sexual relationship in the past. B. Faculty-Student Relationships RequiringDisclosure and Conflict Resolution : Disclosure Requirement : If a faculty member has supervisoryresponsibility for a student with whom he or she is having or has had aromantic and/or sexual relationship, the faculty member must disclose therelationship to his or her academic administrator (in most cases, thedepartment chair) or to an appropriate administrator at a higher level (e.g.,an associate dean, dean, or director). Development and Approval of a ConflictResolution Plan (hereafter referred to as the “plan”) : A written plan to resolve the conflict ofinterest should be developed by the faculty member, the academic administrator(in most cases, the department chair), and the head of the academic unit (e.g.,dean, director, or equivalent). In most cases, the gist of the plan will be toremove the faculty member’s responsibility for supervising the student and tomake alternative arrangements. The plan must address the need to preserve andmaintain the student’s immediate and long-term educational opportunities,ability to meet program requirements, and career progression. For thesereasons, the student must find the plan to be acceptable. At any time, the student, thefaculty member, the academic administrator, and/or the head of the academicunit may consult with the appropriate Human Resources office. Final approval ofthe plan is the responsibility of the head of the academic unit (e.g., thedean, director, or equivalent). Determination of Plan Acceptability : Making alternative arrangements for thefaculty member’s supervisory responsibility may have a negative impact on otherstudents, other faculty members, administrators, and the University. Therefore,the academic administrator and the head of the academic unit (e.g., the dean,director, or equivalent) have the authority to decide that no acceptableresolution to the conflict can be found. When a Conflict Resolution Plan Is NotAgreed Upon : If it is not possible for all therelevant parties to agree on a plan to resolve the conflict of interest, theromantic and/or sexual relationship must be discontinued until the facultymember no longer has supervisory responsibility for the student (also seeSection IV. Sanctions). Record Keeping : A written record of the approved conflictresolution plan must be placed in the faculty member’s personnel file in his orher home administrative unit (also see Section III.F. Confidentiality). C. Role of the Academic Administrator : An academic administrator who learns thata faculty member has supervisory responsibility for a student with whom thefaculty member is having or has had a romantic and/or sexual relationship isobligated to attempt to develop a plan to resolve the conflict of interest. Ifan academic administrator learns of a potential conflict of interest fromanother source (e.g., student or third party), he or she must determine whethera conflict of interest exists and, if so, is obligated to attempt to develop aplan to resolve the conflict of interest. D. Impact on Third Parties : Any student, faculty member, or staffmember who believes he or she has received inappropriately favorable orunfavorable treatment as the result of a romantic and/or sexual relationshipbetween a faculty member and a student may file a complaint with a relevantacademic administrator (in most cases, a department chair) or to theappropriate Human Resources office. E. Existing Student Policies : This policy does not preempt existingcodes of student conduct. F. Confidentiality : Universityadministrators need to respond appropriately to all conflicts of interest thatarise under this policy. Within this context, every reasonable effort will bemade to preserve confidentiality and protect the privacy of all parties in thecourse of investigating a potential conflict of interest or, where a conflictof interest exists, in attempting to develop an alternative plan forsupervision of the student. (See Regents’ Bylaw 14.07 Privacy and Access toInformation and Standard Practice Guide 201.46 Personnel Records – Colle ction, Retention and Release.) IV. Sanctions Violations of this policy will beconsidered misconduct on the part of a faculty member and will be subject toinstitutional sanctions up to and including termination of appointment. Studentsupervisors or graduate student teachers (e.g., Graduate Student Instructorsand Graduate Student Research Assistants) who violate this policy may also besubject to academic sanctions up to and including expulsion as a result ofallegations having been filed separately under other appropriate Universitypolicy. Violations of this policy include: 1. A faculty member has supervisoryresponsibility for a student with whom he or she is having or has had aromantic and/or sexual relationship but fails to disclose the relationshippromptly (see Section III.B. Disclosure Requirement). 2. The faculty member discloses therelationship but fails to cooperate in the development of a satisfactory planto resolve the conflict of interest (see Section III.B. Development andApproval of a Conflict Resolution Plan) or fails to adhere to an agreed-uponplan. 3. The faculty member discloses therelationship but after the chair, dean, and/or director determine(s) that nosatisfactory plan is possible to resolve the conflict of interest, the facultymember continues the relationship (see Section III.B. When a ConflictResolution Plan Is Not Agreed Upon). Nothing in this policy shall bedeemed as supplanting or otherwise affecting the University’s sexual harassmentpolicy, Standard Practice Guide 201.89-0, or the policy on the appointment ofrelatives, Standard Practic eGuide 201.23.
标签: 师生恋
