Sending off my only son to a far-away college on the mainland leaves me much time to think and to reflect. Hao is 18 years old, but he has never lived away from his parent(s) or relatives for more than a week in his whole life. Is he going to be ok? As much as I wish to chat with him every evening, I decide not to call. Why? Because I know my wish is only my wish, not his. Hao showed his independence as early as when he was a 3 rd grader. He told me his decision to go to Punahou (School). There are at least three excellent private schools he could choose from, but he only wanted to go to Punahou. Luckily, he was a lot more mature by the time he applied to colleges. He only wanted to go to the UW in Seattle, but he applied to four other schools. He had his wish once again. When I worry about him these days, I try to think what my freshman year was like at the Shangdong College of Oceanography (now the OUC) in Qingdao. I actually celebrated my 18 th birthday as a freshman. Life was simple then, studying, studying, and more studying. Wait, I did have something besides studying, that is, I went to visit my aunt and her family on some weekends. They lived inside an army complex, an hour away by bus and walk. I wore an army long coat to keep warm in winter, just like everyone else on the shuttle (truck), if I made to the pick-up site on time. My two cousins are much younger than I, so I was like a big sister. Jing is the older one, but still at least six years younger than I. When you are 18, a 12-year-old can be your little sister but not a girlfriend. (Now, we are much closer, partly because she also has a freshman in college.) To think back, being one of the youngest in Class 77 (entering year) made me who I am: not wanting to lead. Even though I had a few months of experience as “ sent-down ” youth, I was basically a school girl when most of my roommates and classmates had “ work ” experience, some even had children. I did better than surviving, so can Hao!
Leaving the nest By Robert Frankel The Daily (of U. Washington Welcome Edition) To college students from grown-ups Dear Son/Daughter/ Unexpected Surprise, We are so very proud of the young adult that you have grown into, and we recognize that this is only the first step in what will be a long and difficult—yet fruitful and enlightening—journey into your adulthood. However, we wouldn’t be the loving caregivers who have raised you since birth if we didn’t have some anxieties about our little bubby taking such a large new step in life. We do, of course, know that you’ll be fine. We do, of course, know that you’ll also have your ups and downs. That’s all right, though; we try not to think too much of the downs, honestly. And we do, of course, know that you’re probably very eager to move away from home and into your residence hall or that Alpha Greek Four place or that whatever it’s called and live the “dolce vita” on your own. And we’re happy that you’re going to do that. But, you know, we do love you, and it will be hard for us to live away from you. You lived with us for such a long time, and, although it might not have seemed like it, an incredible portion of our lives really did revolve around you. Having said that, please understand that when we call it’s because we miss you, and we just want to know how you’re doing. We want to know about your friends and your classes and your activities, not because we’re invasive or attempting vicariousness, but because we care about your well-being. We’re happy when you’re happy, and when you’re not—well, we want to make things better if we can. Please do call us sometimes, though, because it can get lonely and we don’t want to bother you too much. And you don’t have to go through everything on your own at college, either; everyone does well to learn from mistakes, but not all mistakes bear repeating if it is possible to avoid them. We’ve got a few decades’ worth of experience from which you could benefit, we’re sure, and we don’t want you to do anything that you’ll regret later. You’re going to college to build the foundation for your future, preferably in the field that we think is the best for you. But really, let’s be honest, shall we? It’s not the end of the world if you don’t become a heart surgeon. Sure, the pay is great, and sure, we’ll probably be a little angry and disappointed, and we may throw out some enervating threats in an effort to convince you of the utter error and shortsightedness of your ways. But we did that when you were in third grade and you broke Mr. Lawson’s window, remember that? And you still grew up just fine, and we still love you and are proud of you. All we ask is that you explain your rationale to us, show us what you see in the field you wish to pursue. It may take us a while to get used to it. But, we promise you this: Your happiness has always found a way to convince us, and we’ll definitely come around o see things your way eventually. The life of a parent/wolf pack leader is a difficult one: You often wonder if you’re doing the right thing, and you always want to make sure that you’re raising your children/litter in the best way possible. We always wanted the very best for you, and now you have the chance to make that happen on your own. Sincerely, Mom Dad
I am sure I am among the last group of parents who sent off their freshman child. I tried to make it easy for everyone. No big deal, forget to pack something, he can buy it with his credit or debit cards. Inside of me, a lot is going through my mind and my heart. The truth is I don't, and shouldn't, share it with anyone who has not experienced such an event. Why? It's like falling in love or falling out of love, you have to go through it to FEEL the joy or the pain or both. So, I will call my parents and ask whether or not they still remember the time when I left for college in a bitter cold winter of early 1978. BLP, HJ, and I found each other via the college admission office in Hangzhou. We boarded the same train, but had to transfer in Jinan. What a depressing train station I saw. It was grey and black. No leaves, and no colors. The ground had puddles, so bricks were there for one to step on or one's shoes would get dirty or wet. BLP is older and much taller. HJ was timid. So, I was the one who was pushed through the train's window by BLP, with my long military coat on, to secure some seats. I don't remember the rest...
Greetings and Congratulations! As is the usual practice of the SAT program at Punahou, I’m sending you all the text of our most recent “Conquer College” tips tricks. Go forth and conquer! 1. Don’t do all of your reading: While college classes may assign a ton of reading, it’s rarely necessary to read every single assignment in the syllabus. With practice (and help from upperclassmen and even the Internet), you will learn to distinguish which readings are important for discussion, exams and papers. Skim or even skip the rest. 2. Read with a purpose: While reading, don’t take detailed notes; instead, identify the author’s conclusion and then move quickly through the material, noting the most interesting pieces of supporting information for the author’s key arguments. Follow PQ4R: Preview, Question, and four R's: Read, Reflect, Recite, Review. 3. Read a newspaper every day: Read every article on the front page, and a few from the following pages. Starting the day by reading is a great way to get your brain running before you go to class. This way, you jumpstart each day while keeping on top of current events. If nothing else, you’ll always have interesting, up-to-date topics for conversation with your friends and classmates. 4. Sign up for something your first week: The happiest students are the most involved students. The temptation to dig in and let your freshman fall rush by will be huge. But it’s the best time to get involved with students activities that truly excite you. 5. Become a “night owl”: Today’s students, at nearly every major college, tend to stay up late. Whether they have homework to do or are just socializing, they tend to stay up at all hours. And why not? You have a stamina right now that you won’t have ten years from now (and it’s all downhill). Do it because you can, because everyone else is, and that makes it your best opportunity to cement friendships that’ll last your whole life. 6. Create a Sunday ritual: Sunday isn’t just the end of the weekend; it’s the start of a new week. We’re conditioned to think of it both ways, so why not work with the one that works for you? How you handle Sunday sets the tone for the week that follows. Wake up and get planning, start your assignments, hit the books, and your attitude towards learning will be jumpstarted. Fail to do so, and you may wind up spending the week playing catch-up! 7. Dress nicely for class: Dressing well shows you think well of yourself. Looking good helps you feel good. Dress nicely for class, and you’ll find your attitude towards learning will be more positive. More importantly, people (including professors) will react better to you if you clearly take care to put forth a pleasant appearance. This will help you academically and socially. 8. Befriend a professor: There’s almost no way to stand out as a student without befriending at least one professor. Don’t be shy – they like it! And you’re already paying for it! Seek advice on the course and on academics in general. The more you absorb and appreciate a professor’s advice, the more invested that professor will be in your own success. And that’s a good thing to have when that person is issuing your grade! 9. Drop classes every semester: Bad classes cause a lot of damage. They dampen your intellectual energy, steal your time and hurt your grades. You should avoid them at all costs. Accomplishing this goal is a two-step process. First, seek out student feedback for every class you consider. A good place to start is a student feedback website, if one’s available. Second, and this is the important part, always sign up for one or more classes than you actually plan on taking. Attend all these classes for the first week or two, then drop the ones you liked least. Combined, these two steps act as an insurance policy against bad academic experiences. 10. Start big projects the day they’re assigned: Procrastination is the college student’s most insidious foe. Defeating the desire to put off that tedious assignment for just one more day requires a serious mental effort. But fear not, here’s a simple technique that swings the advantage back in the student’s favor in the battle against procrastination: When assigned a big project, do some amount of work toward its completion that very same day. Twenty minutes is enough. If the project is a research paper, then go to the library and check out a few books that overview the general subject area. If it’s a big exam, then sketch out a simple study schedule. Once you begin work on a tedious project—even just a small piece of work—it becomes significantly easier to convince yourself to continue. 11. Jump into research as soon as possible: Getting involved in an undergraduate research project sharpens your academic proficiency in an area of interest and bolsters your intellectual curiosity. It also builds a foundation of experience useful for gaining entrance to many interesting post-graduation pursuits. Don’t be afraid to contact professors directly, after you first spend time familiarizing yourself with their work, to politely inquire if they need a research assistant. Many colleges, especially those with a strong undergraduate focus, leave many professors without a large contingent of graduate students, opening many opportunities for conscientious undergrads. 12. Apply to ten scholarships a year: Many scholarships are handed down from overworked administrators who give only cursory attention to qualifying applicants. For every ten you apply for, you probably have a good shot at two or three. Those you receive will not only help you out financially, they’ll look good on your transcript and resume as well. It’s like getting paid twice for the same bit of work! 13. No breaks between classes: It’s all about momentum. If you stop, you’ll have to start up again. Don’t treat time between classes as anything other than study-time. Do that, and you’ll remain more efficient and, best of all, have a lot more break time at the end of the day when all the best socializing occurs. 14. Don’t study in your room: It’s the worst place to study, bar none. It’s got the greatest number of distractions, plus it’s supposed to be your “retreat” from the grind. Never, ever study in your room. 15. Find a secret study place: A simple truth about studying: location matters. In terms of material learned, one hour spent reviewing in a quiet and secluded space is equivalent to five hours spent reviewing on your bed, in your one-room triple, with your roommates watching an Iron Chef marathon in the background. If you want to reduce the total amount of time you study and improve your grades, confine your review efforts to distraction-free areas: places without many other people, noise or easy access to your dorm or dining halls. Try Dana Biomedical Library or the Feldberg Business Engineering Library. The basement of Berry is nicely isolated, as is high up in the Baker stacks. Choose a secret study space to call your own, then use it regularly to maximize your effectiveness. 16. Study with the quiz-and-recall method: Active learning means anticipating what questions may be asked of you. Why not ask them of yourself first? Reading silently over your notes is a terrible way to study. It’s also a mistake made by almost every student. The problem with this rote review approach is that your mind doesn’t pay very good attention when you are reading to yourself. It’s content to let the words fly in without ever expending the mental horsepower needed to put the information into structures and extract the kind of meaning that will be expected from you on the upcoming exam. 17. Find an escape: College life can become overwhelming, if you let it. So don’t let it! At least once a week, get off campus for a break, even if it’s just to read a book over a cup of coffee at a local Barnes Noble . Find an escape and use it to recharge. 18. Do one thing better than anyone else you know: Confidence in your abilities is crucial for success at college. It builds your resistance to bad experiences, stokes your intellectual energy, sharpens your arguments and motivates you to explore your passions. A simple technique to build your confidence at college is to find a skill you enjoy, and then work until you are better at it than anyone else you know. The skill can be anything: writing comedy for the humor magazine, drawing cartoons for school newspaper, writing short stories, playing guitar in a band, perfecting your jump shot—whatever. Just find one thing you can be known for. 19. Don’t try to be “well-rounded”: As the saying goes, “Jack-of-all-trades is master of none.” It’s not always true, but it’s definitely true that you’ve got limited time in life, and you’re better off spending more of your time learning to excel in just a few areas. You’ll get more out of what you do, and you’ll “stand out” in the crowd. And it’s worth note that this particular hint was inspired by the Princeton Dean of Admissions who stated clearly that his goal is to create a well-rounded class, which did not mean seeking “well-rounded” individuals so much as persons who excel in specific areas. Find your focus and stand out! 20. Maximize your summers: It’s sad, but true: After high school, summer vacation should no longer be seen as a vacation. Instead, treat summer as a period where you are freed from the time constraints of classes to concentrate fully on pursuing your passions. If you love politics, look for a position with a congressman or think tank in Washington . If journalism is your thing, scout out newspaper internships. The key is to start planning early to maximize your chances of landing a thrilling opportunity. The Christmas holidays are a great time to begin the process. Many of the best internships have January and February deadlines. And you often need time to gather recommendations, find helpful contacts among family and friends and write solid application essays. Take this task seriously. If you maximize your collegiate summers, you will maximize your opportunities after graduation. 21. Take a “happy pill”: Mild depression is natural, especially in a new environment (like college). Should you find yourself “in the dumps,” here are some “happy pills” likely to raise your spirits. (1) Go out for a walk. Do so for at least half an hour. Choose somewhere picturesque, such as a park or a beach or up to a hill with a view. (2) Do something fun that you haven't done in a long time. Nothing excites quite like something new. So go out and do something fun that you haven't done for a while, or even something that you haven't ever done before. (3) Do something creative. We are creative beings. Some of humanity's first achievements were artistic - painting in caves, telling stories, making music, preparing nice food. Why argue with tradition? (4) Complete some minor chore that you've been avoiding. It’s not that you're going to enjoy the chore - you're probably not. But a chore completed can really help to put your mind at rest. (5) Get in contact with an old friend or acquaintance you haven't seen for a while. You may feel a little uncomfortable about it - perhaps you've been neglecting their friendship. But what the heck, just give them a call. The warmth of a friendship rekindled is a wonderful thing. 22. Learn when to give up: You can’t be the best at everything, and it’s foolish to try. Your time is limited, just like everyone else’s. So while it sounds good to say, “winners never quit,” the reality is that life’s true winners quit all the time. Smart quitters understand the idea of opportunity cost. The work you’re doing on project X right now is keeping you from putting in the time to really nail down project Y. Direct your resources towards your areas of excellence. 23. Have no regrets: Good judgment comes with experience. Experience often comes from bad judgment. You’re in college to learn, an experience that’s sometimes as painful as it can be thrilling. Don’t dwell on the past. There’s too much fun to be had in the present, and too much to look forward to in the future. Best wishes, Jim Kawashima +++ James S. Kawashima SAT Instructor Punahou Summer School Office : (808) 783-2432 Facsimile: (808) 356-1333 ps. I sent my child to this SAT Pref at Punahou, and let them do the work.
Believe it or not, I have been struggling with the possibility that my son might get into UVa, the #1 public school in the US. Why? Because he prefers the west coast of the US. Well, the UVa letter finally arrived, via email. It was a rejection! Instead of feeling sorry for the young man, my response/reply was: "Congratulations! " What a luck boy, he (almost) always gets what he wishes for. I think I am a good mother, because I don't believe in pushing a child too hard. Next step? Go to the bank for a big loan at 1.99%!
Behind The Scenes: How Do You Get Into Amherst? by Tovia Smith March 28, 2011 Admissions committees at selective colleges sometimes have to plow through thousands of applications to choose the members of next year's freshman class. The committee at Amhest College in Mass., will accept only 1,000 of the more than 8,000 students who applied. … ... it may also be a kind of relief to kids to know that the decision is a little random and not a referendum on their worth. It's kind of like that old break-up line: it's not you, it's me. … When decisions are finally done, the irony is ... that the tables will totally turn. ... these kids that we've been tormenting now have three or four acceptance letters and now we have to wait to see if they'll accept us. http://www.npr.org/2011/03/28/134916924/Amherst-Admissions-Process ps. This is so true. A lucky young man I know well has been accepted by four of the five colleges he applied, include good scholarship offers, but he is waiting for the last one. At the end, he will only go to one of these schools.
You may go to college for free in the U.S. (though lunch money is not included). The Most Affordable Colleges in America http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-111796-8053-5-the-most-affordable-colleges-in-america?ywaad=ad0035nc
You may have never heard of Creighton University (CU) . A young man who plans to become a medical doctor was told by his college counselor to apply to some small, private colleges. One of the schools he has applied is CU. On Jan. 15, 2011, an acceptance letter from the CU has arrived, which offers the young man the CU Founders Award in the amount of $11,000.00 for the 2011-2012 academic year. The letter noted that this award is renewable for another three years. ps. This award is about 1/3 of the tuition.
I know there are loads of problems with Chinese colleges, but things are getting better slowly, such as switching major in collegesomething I never dreamed of doing. (Ok, the progress is not fast enough. I agree.) An undergraduate student told me that he is thinking of switching to another department. He wants to know whether the new (department) field is strong or not when compared to that in other countries, etc. It is not difficult to answer the question that an xxx field in China is strong or weak internationally, which I can Blog about next time. To me, what is more important is what you expect to gain and to contribute to this new field you are about to enter. If you want to learn a lot from your future professors, then a strong department is good for that. Think then what you will do with your learned knowledge. If you intend to APPLY the learned knowledge, then you have made a good choice. However, if you intend to CONTRIBUTE to the field, doesnt it excite you more if the field is currently weak, so there is MUCH MORE room for you to make discovery? You can then go abroad and learn from foreign devils as much as you can. You will then return to your motherland, and help her all you can. Think about what you want carefully, and then decide whether or not you really want to switch your major. Whatever you decide to do, you have my best wishes!
We all know the Gao Kao in China is grueling on the students, the parents, and even the grandparents. So, does it sound too good to be true, if one can skip the Gao Kao all together? Sure, if your parents can afford to send you to the U.S.; you can do so even without taking SAT. Here is one college that will take Chinese applicants without SAT: If you live or attend school in China, you do not have to take the SAT or ACT. It's Syracuse University, Syracuse, New York. There are others, but I don't know for sure.
I never had the time or heart to finish the last part of my Blog on college counseling. Compare to my friends and colleagues who work and live in China, I am relatively poor. So, I am looking into how to obtain the best loan for my son's four-year college expenses. Here is some professional advice I read recently: 1) The first borrowing should be by the child through a federal Stafford loan. However, there is a maximum, which is currently $5,500/yr for freshmen. 2) If the Stafford loan is not enough, parents are advised to look into a federal PLUS loan. 3) If the parents are turned down for a PLUS loan, the student is allowed to borrow more through the Stafford program. Very interesting, this personal-finance adviser for Costco tells the parents: ... not to borrow a penny for your child's education.
FRONTLINE investigates how Wall Street and a new breed of for-profit universities are transforming the way we think about college in America http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/collegeinc/
Now, lets plant some seeds, which is a list put together by the student, his parents, and his counselor, for colleges that match the students needs. This list will grow first (expanding), and then shrink down to 6-8 schools for the student to actually apply. Mr. Obenchain started to introduce 15 colleges, most of them I never heard of. He would briefly go over each of them. My son wrote down the name of each school on a pink paper in the left column. To the right of the pink paper, there is a column for Admission odds*. The * is noted at the bottom of the paper for codes to be used for this column: (L) for Likely (90-95% likelihood of acceptance), (P) for Probably (75%), (C) for Core (50% likelihood), and (R) for Reach (5-50% likelihood). Then, Mr. Obenchain took out a crystal ball, a 3-inch-thick Data Book, a binder that lists all the colleges with enough (to be statistically meaningful) Punahou students admitted during 2006-2009. Each page is for a college, say UW (U. of Washington). The far-left column lists from top to bottom GPAs (in a descending order), 4.0, 3.75, 3.5, etc. The second column shows the data for students admitted each year, so each 9 represents one student admitted in 2009. To the right, there is a column showing the number of applicants who were declined and the (likely) reasons. So, for the same GPA (usually at the lower end of admitted), one could be rejected. At the bottom of each page, three SAT score ranges are given for the middle 50% accepted by the college. This info is available to the public at the College Board Web site. Mr. O would show the page, say for Lawrence Univ. We can tell what the range of GPAs is for Punahou students admitted by Lawrence in the past, which GPAs may be too low, and the schools middle 50% SAT. My son would be asked to pick a code for his chance/odds to be accepted by this school. At the end of this exercise, I saw mostly L and two C on the pink paper. There was not even one R. The reason is the person who selected these seeds knew my son well not to add, say Yale, on the list. Then, Mr. O showed us how to grow the list using Naviance , which helps to track each students progress on college application. My son logged into his account, and there is a list of schools selected by his father and his counselor. Yes, parents have access to this account to keep an eye on their child, so does the college counselor. The system offers lots of tools and info. Mr. O quickly showed us how to tell if the school is a teaching college or research type. For each school on my sons list, the system will recommend a list of similar schools. So, one can spend lots of time surfing Naviance (To be continued.)
Before I move on to selecting colleges for my son (or yours), lets talk about Punahous philosophy of Good Match Appropriate Fit. I want to first cite something from Punahous college counseling Web site: Punahou seeks to provide both students and parents with the best information on college choices and admission requirements to aid in the application process. Its college counseling philosophy is to stress the importance of focusing on a 'good fit', rather than what some may call a 'good school'. Yes, this concept may be new to many Chinese parents, including myself, but please try to consider it. I thought my aunt was great at saying: Marriage is like fitting shoes to your feet. They may look pretty, but only you know how well they fit you. Well, I am not sure she discovered that by herself, but here is a quote you may have heard yourself. The shoe that fits one person pinches another by Carl_Jung (Swiss psychologist; 1875-1961). One of the take-home brochures from Punahou is College Quest 101: Finding the schools that fit me. In this brochure, it lists Parent/Guardians Role as Give ownership of the process to the student Withhold judgment Stress good fit, not good reputation In short, the pertinent question for the student in high school is not Can I get into X College? but rather, Will I be happy and successful at X College? (To be continued.)
Lets talk about SAT . Many years ago, I reconnected with a grade school classmate. She told me that her only son got 2400 on SAT. Hearing silence over the phone line, she asked me if I knew about SAT. I said I only knew SAT is a test used for college admission but had no idea about the score itself. Well, 800 is the perfect score for each component of the test, and SAT (reasoning) test has three parts: reading, math, and writing. So, her son had a perfect SAT test score! I hear more about SAT scores since then. My son also took PSAT, twice, as required and paid for by his school, and finally his first SAT last December on his 17th birthday. What I learned from Mr. Obenchain is how college admission offices view SAT vs. GPA. He added two more numbers to the Bell Curve he draw for the GPA: 500 and 600s. These are the corresponding cutoffs for each SAT component, say math. These two numbers are matched with the two GPAs, 3.0 and 3.6 (see Part 2 of my Blog), namely 500 and 3.0 are for below average. Mr. Obenchain pointed out that my sons SAT scores are closer to the high cutoff than his GPA. What does this mean? Since SAT measures ones (reasoning) ability and GPA reflects ones efforts, higher SAT than GPA suggests laziness. Well, I knew my son was not doing his best, and now Mr. O sees that, too. The college admission office will see it as well! Unlike the Gao Kao in China, SAT can be taken many times. However, statistics show that scores dont change much for the same student when he takes SAT many times, at least for U.S. students. My son was encouraged to take it one more time, since his writing score was much lower than expected (based on his PSAT, which is not part of the application package). Then, Mr. O said writing is all about grammars. Since teachers in the U.S. dont teach grammars any more, you can imagine how good the students do in SAT. (On the other hand, SAT Prep classes can really boost writing score. Punahou offers SAT Prep, for about $600. I definitely would recommend it to other parents.) At that point, Mr. O asked my son to sign on to his SAT account, and helped him to input some important data. This will ensure that when I register him for the 2nd SAT, all his scores will be collected in the same place for college admission offices to view. What if my son gets a better writing score next time, but slips on his reading? Dont worry, Mr. O said. The admission picks the higher score for each component. There are SAT subject tests, too. I guess only those very motivated students will go for it. There is also ACT (American College Test). Some students do better at ACT since it does not panelize for wrong answers. Mr. O does not recommend my son to take ACT since his SAT scores are strong already. So, I will sign him up for the June SAT, and use October as the safety net in case the June test date does not work out for some reason. (To be continued.)
Lets first talk about grades, GPA (Grade Point Average). GPA is a numerical way to describe how well a student did in class. Each letter grade has a numerical equivalent: A=4, B=3, C=2, and so forth. Punahou School GPA can be viewed online. Mr. Obenchain draw a Bell Curve, with two cutoff values of 3.0 and 3.6 clearly marked. If a students GPA is less than 3.0, then he is below average. Lets say my son is an average student, like most of his classmates. For these average students, the college admission officer may look at his GPA in two ways: annual average for each year, and the trend. If a students annual-average GPA increases in time, then the trend is positive. This is a good thing. Mr. Obenchain also examined my sons course selection for his senior year, noted two AP courses listed. Another good thing (but these courses require HARD work to get decent grades). Mr. O pointed out one thing that is missing from my sons senior year course sheet: college applications. It takes time to complete each package, and my son is asked to apply to 6-8 schools. (I hope he will apply to 3-4 schools.) The difficult part of each package is the essay, because each school has its own requirement. My son was told to spread the workload of writing essays evenly throughout the school year, and I hope he will remember this excellent piece of advice. It will be good for my son to get even higher GPA for the senior year, to keep the positive trend. There will be a Deans Letter for each student that goes to the colleges admission office. How is the letter written? Well, the letter will be based on the students own voices (through his own writing), drafted by the counselor, revised many times, and finalized by the dean. (Each grade from 9th to 12th, there are two deans who will follow these students through their high school years. Each student is assigned to one of the deans, but he is free to go to any dean if he has an issue to discuss. I am not sure he can fire his dean.) (To be continued.)
There are 4,000 colleges and universities in the U.S. to choose from... Where will my only child be in the fall of 2011? I have no experience in terms of helping a child to apply for colleges in the U.S. Am I nervous about the process? Not really. This is because I am counting on Punahou_School , the largest independent school in the States, to guide us through the process. There are about 430 graduates each year, guided by 8-10 college counselors. Not all college counselors are very good, as I was told. However, my son is very lucky, because his counselor, Mr. Obenchain, is the best. I can tell you Mr. O is a great college counselor after having spent 90 mins with him and my son this morning (yes, on April Fools Day, but this Blog is no joke). My son and I have spent very limited time talking about colleges, often on our way to school in the morning when he is willing to chat or listen. However, he has had a semester on college application, and I have attended an evening meeting at Punahou for juniors parents. (I was going to Blog about that meeting, but didnt get to.) I had a list of questions, and my son had some questions, too, for todays meeting. Some background info first: Each student has submitted many pieces of writing about himself, what he wants for college life, etc. So, the counselor knows (probably better than the parents) what the student has been thinking (or daydreaming). Mr. Obenchain intended to cover four areas during the meeting, and he did very well. They are: 1) Transcripts (more important than SAT scores), including annual averages and trend; 2) SAT test scores; 3) Seed of colleges (a list of colleges to start with, which will grow and then shrink to 6-8 at the end of the process); 4) $$$$$ (how much does it cost). I will go over each in more details. So, stay tuned
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him? They said: Of course. My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5￠ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy 包含uction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif 无效faces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple 无效faces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky D I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me D I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right. It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been No for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything D all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a 无效 of cancer that is incurable, and that Ishould expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with 无效writers, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much. your heart knows what you want truly.
标签: college
