看到一个对生气的心理学解释： Anger is a natural and mostly automatic response to pain of one form or another (physical or emotional). Anger can occur when people don't feelwell, feel rejected, feel threatened, or experience some loss. The type of pain does not matter; the important thing is that the pain experienced is unpleasant. Because anger never occurs in isolation but rather is necessarily preceded by pain feelings, it is often characterized as a 'secondhand' emotion. 生气是一种对身体或情绪痛苦的自然（通常是自动的）反应。当人们觉得不爽、被拒绝、被威胁或失落时候，就可能生气。痛苦的类型本身不重要，关键在于这个痛苦的反应让人很不舒服。生气不是孤立产生的，在生气之前需要有痛感，因而生气常被认为是一种“二手”的情绪反应。 Pain alone is not enough to cause anger. Anger occurs when pain is combined with some anger-triggering thought. Thoughts that can trigger anger include personal assessments, assumptions, evaluations, or interpretations of situations that makes people think that someone else is attempting (consciously or not) to hurt them. In this sense, anger is a social emotion; You always have a target that your anger is directed against (even if that target is yourself). Feelings of pain, combined with anger-triggering thoughts motivate you to take action, face threats and defend yourself by striking out against the target you think is causing you pain. 痛苦本身不足以导致生气，还需要一个触发生气的念头。能触发生气的念头包括对于某种状况的个人评估、假设、解读（该状况让他感觉到有人正在有意识或无意识地试图攻击他）。在这种情况下，生气是一种社会性情绪；你总有一个生气的对象（可以是你自己）。痛苦的感觉与（可触发生气的）念头相结合导致行动，对抗导致你生产痛苦的对象，以面对威胁并保护自己。 Anger can also be a substitute emotion. By this we mean that sometimes people make themselves angry so that they don't have to feel pain. People change their feelings of pain into anger because it feels better to be angry than it does to be in pain. This changing of pain into anger may be done consciously or unconsciously. 生气还是一种代偿性的情绪。人们有时候会通过生气以逃避对痛苦的感觉。因为生气好过处于痛苦之中。这种从痛苦到生气的转换可能是有意识的，也可能是无意识的。 Being angry rather than simply in pain has a number of advantages, primarily among them distraction. People in pain generally think about their pain. However, angry people think about harming those who have caused pain. Part of the transmutation of pain into anger involves an attention shift – from self-focus to other-focus. Anger thus temporarily protects people from having to recognize and deal with their painful real feelings; you get to worry about getting back at the people you're angry with instead. Making yourself angry can help you to hide the reality that you find a situation frightening or that you feel vulnerable. 比起单纯处于痛苦之中，生气有诸多好处，这主要得益于其间的注意力分散。处在痛苦中的人通常只去想痛处。然而，生气的人想的却是怎么去对抗导致该痛苦的对象。痛苦到生气的转换过程中，有一部分包含了注意力转移——从对自己的注意变成对其他对象的注意。因此，生气暂时地保护了人们，以避免让人不得不意识到并处理真正的痛苦；不必去担心怎么去和肇事者重归于好。生气还有助于隐藏自己的恐惧感、及脆弱无力感。 In addition to providing a good smoke screen for feelings of vulnerability, becoming angry also creates a feeling of righteousness, power and moral superiority that is not present when someone is merely in pain. When you are angry, you are angry with cause. "The people who have hurt me are wrong – they should be punished" is the common refrain. It is very rare that someone will get angry with someone they do not think has harmed them in some significant fashion. 通过忽略自己易受攻击的事实，生气可以产生一种正义感，力量感，以及道德上的优越感。而这些感觉是单纯处于痛苦之中的人所没有的。当你生气的时候，你生气的是导致痛苦的源头。你会认为“犯错的是伤害我的人，他们必须被惩罚”。很少会有人对一个（他觉得）没有伤害他的人生气。 The definition of whether someone's anger is a problem often turns on whether or not other people agree with them that their anger, and the actions they take in the name of their anger, is justified. Angry people most always feel that their anger is justified. However, other people don't always agree. The social judgment of anger creates real consequences for the angry person. An angry person may feel justified in committing an angry, aggressive action, but if a judge or jury of peers do not see it that way, that angry person may still go to jail. If a boss doesn't agree that anger expressed towards a customer is justified, a job may still be lost. If a spouse doesn't agree that anger was justified, a marriage may have problems. 生气会不会成为问题，在于其他人是否（和生气的人一样）同意 因生气而导致的行为 是正义的。生气中的人总以为他们的生气是正当的。但是，其他人未必这么认为。生气的人真正需要面对的是社会对此情绪的评判。生气的人实施侵犯性对抗时，他自我感觉是正当的。但是陪审团可不那么看，生气者仍有可能被投入监狱。如果老板不觉得对顾客生气是正当的，就会被炒鱿鱼。如果配偶不觉得你生气是对的，那婚姻就会有问题。 Whether justified or unjustified, the seductive feeling of righteousness associated with anger offers a powerful temporary boost to self-esteem. It is more satisfying to feel angry than to acknowledge the painful feelings associated with vulnerability. You can use anger to convert feelings of vulnerability and helplessness into feelings of control and power. Some people develop an unconscious habit of transforming almost all of their vulnerable feelings into anger so they can avoid having to deal with them. The problem becomes that even when anger distracts you from the fact that you feel vulnerable, you still at some level feel vulnerable. Anger cannot make pain disappear – it only distracts you from it. Anger generally does not resolve or address the problems that made you feel fearful or vulnerable in the first place,and it can create new problems, including social and health issues. 不管是否正当，生气带来的正义感能让人短暂地暴发出一种强大的自负。比起意识到自己的脆弱无力所带来的痛苦，生气能带来极大的满足感。通过生气，你可以将脆弱及无助感转化为十足的力量及掌控感。甚至有些人在无意中养成了一种习惯，将几乎所有的无力感转化为生气，以避免去面对自己的脆弱。问题在于，即便生气可以分散你对脆弱感的注意力，你仍有可能从另外的层面感觉到无助。生气不能让痛苦消失，它只是分散你对痛苦本身的注意力。生气通常不能马上找到或解决导致你恐惧、无助的原因，并且还会产生出新的问题，包括社会的、身体的、心理的问题。 From: Harry Mills, Ph.D. 'Psychology of Anger' http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=docid=5804cn=116 我对此的理解是： 生气是由痛苦及可以触发生气的念头相结合而产生的 生气的人在某方面是脆弱的、无力的 容易生气的人很可能是容易感觉到被侵犯的人，他的脆弱点很多…… 脆弱的人始终是脆弱的，生气只能短暂地让自己感觉到强大，并容易做出失当的行为。 要让自己真正变得强大，那样，就可以从根本上断绝生气的原因——痛苦 当然，完全没痛苦是不可能的。所以，在自己对痛苦原因进行评估的时候，要让自己尽量理性，采取适当策略解决问题，不要轻易从痛苦转到生气。 生气作为人类的自然本能当然是有其可取之处的。 可以让自己充满力量，以面对无可避免的侵害。 可以作为一种手段，让自己不爽的人避开。 但是在社会化生存的今天，生气所导致的行为是否正当，并不是由自己一人决定的。而要由社会来裁决。 生气的所带来的正义感是虚幻的，对抗行为一定要有底线，适可而止，不可破坏社会所达成的契约（法律、道德），尽量减少新问题的产生。 尤其重要的是在事后去解决问题，提升自己对侵犯的应对能力。 不管你生不生气，问题始终还在那里。解决问题才是正经的。
标签: 脆弱
