李阳家庭暴力的问题之前就见诸报端，最初看到新闻的时候让我甚为惊讶，因为心理上我一直以为虐妻的事情应该已经在社会中不常见了，而发生在受教育程度高的家庭更被我认为是极小概率事件。然而现实无情地否证了我这样一个一厢情愿的假说。家庭暴力在中国恰恰是十分常见的现象，高中时代热播的电视剧《不要和陌生人说话》里的家暴场景对很多中国人来说，可能是常常发生的事情。

援引人民日报08年的数据，中国的家庭暴力发生率高达29.7%—35.7%（这实在是个不该也无法忽略的数字），而女性受害者则占到总数的9成。 http://news.xinhuanet.com/society/2008-10/07/content_10158297.htm

      比发生家庭暴力更糟糕的事情，是发生之后，民政和司法部门的不作为。有非常多的例子显示，被暴打的女性即使向警察机关求助，只会得到家庭内部矛盾，自行解决的回复被拒绝施以援助。面对极其严重的家庭暴力，司法判罚也常常出现重判女性过错方，而轻判男性的偏袒，违背法律公平性的原则。把中国当作第二故乡的李金（Kim lee），也不幸成为这个群体中的一员。她遭受家庭暴力不是一天两天，虽然长期以来一直因为感到丢脸而不好意思伸张出来，但是今天的她终于敢于袒露心声，并希望推动中国为防治家庭暴力的立法出一份力，这是值得敬佩的事情！虽然从某个角度上讲，这是揭露了中国的黑暗面，但是从另外一个角度上讲，让这些阴暗面暴露出来，公开讨论，才更有助于促进中国的进步，这实质上是爱中国的表现！

      在喜迎新春之际，我祝愿李金女士，以及和她有着相似生活经历的女性们健康幸福，祝愿中国法制进步！

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附李金女士原文（http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/30/opinion/abuse-fear-and-shame-in-china.html?ref=china&_r=0）：

BEIJING — With fresh bruises on my face and body, I sat in a smoke-filled, fluorescent-lit Beijing police station with my crying two-year-old in my arms. I was incredulous at the reaction from the duty officers.

“If a man jumps on a woman’s back and beats her head into the ground 10 times, that’s not a crime? If someone did this to me on the street outside, you wouldn’t file a report? There is no law against that behavior in China?”

The police officer stammered and said, “Well, of course that is a crime.”

So I continued, “But because the man was my husband, it’s O.K.? Being married makes it legal to beat a woman?”

A female officer said to me, “You and your husband are both good people, just calm down a little, go home, everything will be fine.” Barely able to see clearly, I pointed to my swelling forehead and said, “Does this look fine to you?”

I was trying to file a report against my husband for assaulting me, but as far as the police were concerned, no crime had occurred. After an afternoon of pressing the police to acknowledge the crime and failing, I went home and posted a picture on Weibo, a microblogging platform, showing only my injured forehead, hoping that some friends among my 23 followers would respond to a cry for help.

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Daniel Stolle

My photograph unleashed a torrent of pent-up frustration, agony and support from abused women across China. Within hours of my post, it was forwarded and commented on by more than 20,000 people. I was inspired by the reaction, and the next day went again to a police station and insisted on making an official report. The saga took more than a week and eventually the police officially acknowledged my husband’s abuse.

My now ex-husband is a prominent Chinese businessman, famous for a chain of English-language schools that we built together. I’m an American who has adopted China as my home. Our story was played out in the media, leading to widespread attention on us, and more importantly, on the cause of domestic abuse. In the two and a half years since the attack, I have partnered with the United Nations and a Beijing domestic violence organization to foster awareness of the problem and help victims.

The All-China Women’s Federation reports that nearly 25 percent of married women in China have experienced domestic violence. But the abuse is far more prevalent than those numbers show: A large percentage of attacks go unreported. When women find the courage to go to the police, they most often meet the kind of resistance I did. Meanwhile, the legal system favors men — even abusive men — leaving desperate women few options.

I’ve received countless messages from Chinese women describing a culture that denies there is a problem. One woman wrote to me in frustration: “I accompanied my injured mother to the police station, but the officers here didn’t even know the term ‘domestic violence.’ They only say that this kind of “private matter” or “family problem” is common and there isn’t anything they can do.”

When abused women are ignored by the police, the last legal option is divorce in civil court. But divorce still carries a heavy stigma for Chinese women, and this is another strong deterrent for women to take action against abusive husbands. Those who pursue divorce have an uphill battle: Among all divorces filed on the grounds of domestic violence, about 3 percent are awarded on this basis alone. If the court fails to recognize the husband’s violence but still grants the divorce, the result can be financially devastating for the woman. Even more horrifying, divorce puts the woman at risk of losing custody of her children, as the parent with the higher income is seen as the better caretaker.

Those who have never lived through domestic violence often wonder about the victim, “Why didn’t she just leave?” The answers to this question are varied and complex, but for women in China there is a very practical answer to consider: There is no place to go. Support services are few and far between even in the largest cities, and there are no functioning shelters to speak of.

Faced with the prospect of a lengthy divorce that could end up costing a woman her home and her child, is it any wonder that prisons are full of women who attacked their husbands with axes and fruit knives rather than rely on the law to protect themselves? Surveys of some women’s prisons have shown that more than 60 percent of inmates were sentenced for injuring or killing their husbands in retaliation for domestic violence. Many women convicted of killing their husbands serve life sentences, while most men who beat their wives to death serve only several years in prison.

In 2009, a 26-year-old Beijing woman, Dong Shanshan, reported her abusive partner to local police eight times, only to repeatedly have her bruises and complaints dismissed as “family problems.” She was later beaten to death by him. He received a sentence of six and a half years, for the crime of “maltreatment.”

China needs better domestic violence laws. Only a smattering of local courts are able to issue protection orders against abusive husbands. A national anti-domestic violence law has been drafted and is under consideration by the government. The legislative process is too opaque to know where things stand. Its opponents say that “family matters cannot be legislated,” yet last year the national government passed a highly publicized law requiring grown children to visit their elderly parents.

It is heartening that some localities are pushing ahead with anti-domestic violence laws in the absence of a national law, but it is not enough. Only a national law can drastically raise awareness that domestic violence is in fact a crime. It would give women something to reference when turned away by the police or even to warn abusive husbands with.

In the aftermath of the publicity around my case, I was often asked by incredulous Chinese media why I, as an American, put up with my husband’s violence. I don’t think nationality makes a difference when it comes to the shame and fear women feel about speaking up. No woman is eager to say her family isn’t happy. No woman is proud of the fact that the man she loves beats her. I’m sure my nationality contributed to the amount of attention that my case received, but certainly no more than the fact that my Chinese ex-husband is a celebrity.

Domestic violence isn’t a country- specific problem or a cultural phenomenon. It’s a crime. Stopping it doesn’t start with laws — though in some countries, like in China, new laws are necessary. It starts with voices willing to rise above geographic, political and linguistic barriers to shout out that domestic violence will not be tolerated, excused or ignored.

Kim Lee is a childhood educator and an advocate for the rights of victims of domestic abuse.